#so many layers and little things to observe with each viewing

[ingravinoveritas]

iamjusthereforthecomments replied to your post "Can't stop noticing how red Michael's ears are...”

David's ears are equally red. I google it. It really is a sign of arousal, that or embarrassments, I choose arousal!

yourgothicredrose reblogged your post "Can't stop noticing how red Michael's ears are...”

Glad I'm not the only one that noticed the ears.

So much going on in this scene with Michael and David's body language, between the red ears and the dilated pupils...

There's been a lot of talk about acting choices and doing something for the character vs. the actor's own personal desire. But what I think keeps getting overlooked is that Michael himself said that everything from the last four years--everything that's happened with him and David since the first season, including enduring a global pandemic and being in Staged--plays into what we see on screen. It would seem beyond belief, then, that Michael could stand across from someone who generates as much emotion in him as David does and not feel as though he's reacting to David as much as Crowley.

And if that is the case--if real life is bleeding into the characters as much as Michael is saying it is--then it would make all the sense in the world for their bodies to react to each other. For those involuntary physical responses to be something that happens when Michael and David are around each other, that they bring out of each other, and not just when they are acting. I am just glad other people are seeing it, too...

[bright-hope-spot-19]

Top 10 Kankuro moments

I decided to do a top 10 of my most favorite Kankuro moments. As we know, he doesn't have much screentime. Despite that, I decided to compile the ones I consider to be some of his best moments. I'm gonna start from bottom to top, with a little explanation as to why I find each moment so significant. As expected, this is all based on my opinion. With that said, let's start with:

10- Kankuro having an angry outburst at Oonoki's words:

It's not a very significant moment cause it doesn't last much onscreen. That's why it's at the 10th spot. I still like it, though, because it still works to show one of Kankuro's core traits: his more emotional side and how overprotective he is of Gaara. It also shows he has a general disregard for figures of authority. It just shows how distinct his personality is from his siblings. Gaara was the one being disrespected, and he showed no reactions (I understand that as Kazekage, he has to be mature). But he could've at least shown a more surprised expression. Temari, as always, has to play her peacekeeper role, but is also very detached and emotionless bout the whole situation. I love that Kank has emotions and is allowed to show them. It's important for a character to have emotions, and Kankuro does so very well in this scene.

9- Kankuro's faith in Gaara

God, do I love it when Kankuro gets to express his emotions and be protective of Gaara at the same time. In this moment, Baki is showing concern about Gaara potentially losing control of Shukaku on the village during his fight vs. Deidara. Kankuro is portrayed as Gaara's first supporter, as he quickly jumps to his brother's defense. His faith in Gaara is unshakable. It also shows Kanks development. How he went from finding Gaara unbearable and terrifying to becoming his n.1 defender. Also, I love his expressions here. He starts by biting his lip, showing a sliver of hesitancy before making his declaration. Then the pan to his eyes is not only gorgeous, but I assume was done to show his words were genuine. I love him sm.

8- Kankuro's reaction to Gaara's defeat at Naruto's hands

Once again, it's a very small but significant moment. Actually, it goes hand in hand with Kank also being the first to respond to Gaara's apology. I've already talked about this once, but it just goes to show that Kankuro had always loved his brother. Deep down, beneath all the layers of fear and unease, beat the heart of a true big brother. Kankuro's reaction is the one being highlighted here. He's the first to note Gaara's state, the one to carry him, and the one to tell him it's all right after the apology. I see it as foreshadowing for how strong their bond would get in Shippuden. It also shows the contrast between how Kankuro constantly viewed and treated Gaara through the whole arc, majorly with disdain, and the little moments he has, showing concern for him. Such as this one, and Gaara's fights vs. Lee and Sasuke. It's just great to show there's buried trauma, but not even that is enough to erase their sibling bond.

7- Kankuro's flashback of Gaara's dream

I know some people might view his words here as mean, but it's actually another trait of Kankuro I adore. That's how realistic and down to Earth he is, and how he's not afraid of stating the cold truth as it is. Now, as I see it, this memory was used to develop both Gaara and Kankuro. Right now, I don't remember if it took place during Kanks' unconscious state while Sakura healed him, or if it happened during Gaara's fight vs. Deidara, while Kankuro was observing them. Either way, it's a phenomenal scene because it accomplishes many things. For once, it does the bare minimum of showing us Gaara's drive and motivation to change and become Kazekage. It shows Kankuro's pragmatism, but how he doesn't do it out of malice, but because he cares. He doesn't want his brother to get even more hurt on this path he's chosen. It also shows Kankuro's a great listener because he lets Gaara explain his motives. After Gaara is done talking, Kankuro smiles, and it's obvious he has absolute faith his brother can achieve his dream and he's ready to support him and stand by his side. I've seen people hate on him over being mean in this scene? Which not only shows their poor reading comprehension but also a slight hypocrisy. We all know, if Temari was the one present in this scene instead of Kank, saying the exact same words Kank said, she wouldn't be viewed as cruel or mean, but as a caring sister. Temari stans who hate Kankuro baffle me.

6- Kankuro in the council meeting

Another phenomenal overprotective brother moment from our boy here. Shortly after recovering, he not only attends a meeting with the council (that Temari was excluded from, btw). But he has enough strength to stand up and almost beat up this old geezer. It's very similar to the scene with Oonoki above, Kankuro really doesn't care about figures of authority and their rules. He only cares about Gaara's safety. I know it's also clearly shown he listens to Baki here and immediately lets go of the guy. I prefer to think he didn't do it due to having any particular or specific bond with Baki, but because he stopped to momentarily realize the repercussions this action could have on him and his siblings. After all, the council geezers could've easily used Kanks lashing out here against one of their members as an excuse to not trust Gaara or his siblings. So, the reason he stopped is to not bring any further harm to Gaara's already harmed reputation with his outburst, not specifically due to Baki's words, that served more like a reminder of what he was doing. At least, that's how I view it.

5- Kakashi's acknowledgement of his skills

I'm already getting a little tired of typing, so I'll keep these next ones short and simple. As the image suggests, Kankuro not only managed to obtain a vital clue that would lead t7 to Gaara (the only reason Gaara was found and rescued). This feat also earned him Kakashi's acknowledgment. It shows how skilled Kankuro is. Despite going against an opponent who knew everything about his technique and literally being in a situation where his consciousness was quickly fading, he still managed to think and react quickly to obtain a piece of Sasori's cape. If that's not utter skill, idk what is.

4- Kankuro killing Sakon/Ukon showing his brutality

Now, I'll be the first to admit that this one should've definitely been lower. It's a cool moments but really not deserving of such a high spot. So, let's pretend it switched spots with the Kankuro flashback moment. Overall, I just like it because not only does it show Kanks brutality and decisiveness when he has to make a kill. He also revels in it, treating it like an utter show, a performance of horrors. He also shows wit and skill, being able to outsmart his enemies, which is how he managed to kill them. Once again, tho, this one definitely deserved to be lower.

3- Kankuro asks Naruto to save his brother

This moment was also vital for Kankuro as a character. It allows him to be vulnerable and ask for help. He realizes he can't protect Gaara alone, so he reaches out. You know this moment is significant because it catches everyone present by surprise, and the anime even went as far as to dedicate shots to all of their surprised faces. Meaning this reaction is quite unusual for him. I also just love him having more positive interactions with Naruto, further solidifying a bond with the mc. Let's remember these two also started not liking each other.

2- Kankuro holding Gaara

I just love this moment so much. Once again, Gaara finds himself unable to stand on his own and in need of support. Who does he rely on? Kankuro and Naruto, of course. I find this pretty telling because while making this scene, Kishimoto could've very easily put Temari there instead of Naruto. She's Gaara's sister, after all. But no, it's Naruto's and Kankuro's shoulders he's relying on. Same as when he was defeated at the hands of Naruto in the chunin exams, and Kank was the one to carry him. To me, this means Kankuro is the one helping him shoulder most of his burdens. He's the one holding him upright the both times he can't stand on his own, and the one he shared his dream with. Kankuro is definitely a very important person to Gaara.

Before n.1, I'll mention some honorable mentions:

A- His motivational speech to his squad in the war arc when he noticed Omoi's fear and indecisiveness.

B- His moment with Gaara in the forest of death. It's way more nuanced than people think and definitely not proof that Gaara 'hated Kankuro and loved Temari the most.'

C- His moment retrieving Sasori's puppets with Sakura. Yeah, I'm aware that moment was anime only, but I still like it because of what it added to Kankuro's character. Showing how he also understood and empathized with Sasori's pain but was still willing and ready to carry on his legacy.

D- The other bonding moments he has with Naruto, shortly after Gaara was brought back. He goes comfort him after he is pushed away by Gaara's fangirls. He relays the information of Chiyo's death to him and also explains her life transfer jutsu. It's not much, but I love how their bond also improved from basically hating each other in the chunin exams to being pals.

Finally, number 1:

1- Kankuro facing Sasori in the war arc:

I'll be the first to say it: their bond definitely deserved more attention. Seeing as they're both side characters, tho, I'm still satisfied with it. This is, canonically, the last fight Kankuro gets in the manga, and I think it's a very nice conclusion to his character. He comes face to face with his idol after having been defeated once to show and prove how much he'd improved. It also shows inner frustration because while facing him, Kank does reveal he'd spent plenty of time training and trying to improve after his defeat. Sasori can see that, and he entrusts his legacy to Kankuro. This can also be considered Kankuro's peak because it's also the most puppets we've seen him manipulate at a time (6 total). With this fight, Kankuro finally achieves his character goal of becoming Sasori's heir and improving his technique. People who hate it or think it should've been Sakura here instead of Kank really do not understand Sasori's character at all.

All right, and this would be all. Looking back at these moments in conjunction, we can see Kankuro did go through notable development for such a minor side character. Especially in his bond with Gaara. I just appreciate him a lot and wish more people would appreciate him more, as well.

[moutheyes]

integrating real space and digital space in gelboys

one of my favorite things about gelboys is how it harnesses contemporary social media as a kind of semiotics—how meaning is coded and transmitted—that is rooted in the way young people socialize and perform rituals of courtship in both real space and digital space. for instance, how certain actions can signal interest or affection (making a shared playlist, adding someone to close friends), or keep a person at distance (leaving them on read, blocking obviously). or how moments and actions are simultaneously mutable (deleting a line message, changing a username) and preservable (taking a screenshot, saving a tiktok).

at the same time, gelboys excels at establishing vivid and specific physical locations to anchor the humanity of the characters and storylines. school, siam square, the nail shop, bedrooms, every detail even down to specific charging outlets. in real space, the camera can do its work through blocking, framing, lighting, movement, and the acting itself; this has been the focus of my cinematography posts.

but what makes this show so special to me—and, I think, a lot of others—is the way boss kuno and his team were able to transpose and integrate the semiotics of that digital world into the physical setting and action of the show through innovative visual storytelling. (the sound design was also tremendous, but that's harder to break down without the aid of video lol.)

finding meaning beyond the screen

while the digital world offers these teenagers new modes of expression and interpretation, it is also very much a limited, often self-edited form of communication. first of all, a phone screen is only so big, and many video platforms encourage portrait view, so the narrow physical frame of the device itself can necessarily only show a subjective truth. in that way, the screen acts as a depository where the characters can store their fantasies of who they want to be and how they want the world to perceive them—fourmod playing around with chian's picture to mimic a kiss, bua filming take after take of a dance challenge. and it makes them performers of their own lives and voyeur-observers to each other's.

the show cleverly delineates that exact tension between text (i.e. the content being uploaded to social media) and context (everything that gets cut off in the wider view, or happens before or after the clip) in scenes like this:

the crop overlay visually separates the imagined digital space from real space, so there's an additional layer of symbolism to be found in the context. chian and bua dancing together conveys one meaning for the viewers on tiktok and a separate meaning for fourmod, who is in the frame in real space but not digital space. here he is both the observer (the one filming) and an object affected by the act of observation (the emotional distance he feels as the scene progresses, which is emphasized by his positioning). the way gelboys builds and conveys these layers of meaning by visually integrating digital space into real space is such a treat.

sites of action in digital space

even if digital space is a non-physical entity, that doesn't mean it can't serve as a site of action, and gelboys deliberately stages crucial moments within that virtual realm: chian switching between bua and fourmod on his close friends list, baabin's confession and deleted messages, the zoom summit, to name a few. in fact, thinking back on the scenes that elicited some of the strongest visceral reactions across fandom, quite a few of them stemmed from actions that took place on social media rather than real space. here's a little thought exercise:

is the action shot of fourmod panic-scraping his nails off more or less violent than watching him delete his shared playlist with baabin or create and post an AI video of faifa? (actually wow I might come back to fourmod re: this topic later lmao help) arguably, the audience recognizes the semiotics of those actions—deprioritizing baabin's friendship once he has chian's attention, intentionally doing something to make faifa hate him, not to mention the deepfake part of it—so even though all we're looking at in the exact moment of action is a mouse hovering over the "post" button or an app UI, we still feel as strong of an emotional impact as if fourmod had done something equally appalling in real space.

digital ephemera and memory

people tend to think of social media as a primarily transient mode of communication, and although much of it can be (ignore the data sitting in a physical server somewhere), gelboys shows its characters preserving—and erasing—a great deal of digital ephemera as a mode of memory.

three of the four gelboys are constantly creating collections of messages, photos, etc. (beyond what they post on their accounts) that serve as digital scrapbooks where their truest feelings are kept, and they do it in ways that reflect their individual characterizations. baabin takes screencaps of his conversations with fourmod and hides them away in a folder on his phone, while chian squirrels away his affection for fourmod on a secret account; in this, too, they are two sides to a coin. bua, meanwhile, stores his memories in the form of tiktok drafts—a sort of digital limbo. in his charging gel episode, his phone is running out of storage, an apt metaphor for needing to let go of his friendship with chian. baabin gives him the option of transferring them over instead, but it's unclear whether bua actually ends up doing that. in either case, the collection of ephemera is no longer in his possession.

(fourmod is not really shown doing this—he tends to do the opposite, and is 1000% gonna get his own post about it)

so it's momentous when baabin deletes his entire fourmod folder, when chian airdrops fourmod his old photos and posts his apology as an IG highlight despite knowing he's blocked. like bua, baabin clears out his storage, removing the record of what he once felt for fourmod. and chian is no longer trying to keep his feelings to himself, but rather choosing to show fourmod his collected memories directly; he wants fourmod to remember as well. social media allows us to pick and choose which memories to keep and which to let go, and the emotional changes for three of the four gelboys can be easily tracked by these acts of preserving and discarding digital ephemera.

in gelboys, the importance placed on both real space and digital space, and the visual language used to merge the two, invites the audience to parse the story on multiple levels, but the reward for investing that energy is monumental. it feels like every time I think I've exhausted my thoughts on one topic, a few more pop up. anyway, thanks as always if you read all of this!

[16archive]

"how mitch marner quietly epitomizes 'tough to play against'"

scout, video analyst, and sportsnet writer vanessa kezwer on mitch's defensive prowess that can sometimes go unnoticed or unrecognized, using plays from the 4 nations face-off tournament (article published february 28th, 2025)

full transcript under the cut

"don't should on yourself" is one of my favourite expressions.

as humans, we do this (spectacularly unhelpful) thing where we let expectations dictate our perception of ourselves and our circumstances. We lose our ability to accurately see, assess, or appreciate what is because we're caught up in what we think should be.

we play this game while observing other people as well, and as hockey fans, we've done so quite a bit of late with mitch marner.

in the wake of a couple quieter games at the 4 nations face-off, many familiar narratives about the canadian winger in high-stakes affairs arose. the gist:

he should be contributing more offensively.

he should be more engaged.

he should be tougher to play against.

while these arguments have some merit, they're derived in significant part from viewing marner's performance through the lens of what those elements ought to look like rather than what they do look like for him.

using the tournament as a case study (it captures his range of skills and impact nicely), we'll explore the more subtle layers that make marner tough to play against in ways that aren't necessarily recognized or valued as they challenge conventional thought (i.e. being physical, in-your-face aggressive, or freakishly fast).

up first, how marner makes life difficult for opponents without the puck.

opposition with possession: unquantifiable impact

darryl belfry, a player development coach who's worked with nhl stars and long been at the forefront of innovation within the sport, shared a thought several years ago that's stuck with me:

dictating the game, especially without possession, on as regular a basis as marner does requires an elite understanding of how to minimize the puck carrier's options while taking away time and space, ultimately forcing him to problem solve.

let's walk through four ways marner quietly and commonly leaves opponents in predicaments, breaking down an example for each.

throws off the rhythm, angle, or ease of a play

this clip of marner defending a 2-on-1 in the lead-up to his overtime winner is a prime instance of how he applies pressure in a manner that forces the puck carrier's hand and shifts the complexion of plays just enough to impact the outcome.

in response to no. 16 making himself large, occupying the passing lane, and threatening an imminent poke check, the puck carrier has no choice but to either shoot from far out with the goalie already square or make a tricky move around him.

the bobbled pass reception that follows may seem like a lucky break, but marner creates the conditions for this kind of error. in forcing the pull-back move with his pressure, he leaves the puck carrier with a sharper passing angle, making the delivery and reception a little more difficult. he also delays the pass, which leaves the receiver short on runway and a little more hurried as the puck arrives. 

while these little differences may seem insignificant as they're nearly imperceptible in real time, they can add up to advantages with big consequences like passes that fail to cleanly connect and chances that fail to materialize.

as the saying goes, you create your own luck and marner is adept at doing so.

(also of note: the ensuing battle he wins by the net that prevents a follow-up opportunity against.)

renders all options poor options

here we see marner's aptitude for transforming what initially looks like an easy play with several possibilities for the puck carrier into a "just kidding" scenario, courtesy of one strategic route.

while eliminating the option of a pass to the middle, marner maximizes the risk of a pass up the wall and cuts off the puck carrier's route. 

when a player is left without any good options and lacks the time to create anything else, a "thank you, I'll take that" type of exchange usually ensues. in this case, the puck carrier determines that his best bet is to commit the cardinal sin of attempting a move just inside his blue line, resulting in a "big yikes" turnover.

traps the puck carrier

shadow routes – following the player with possession from behind as a secondary support to immediately trap him in the event of a cut-back or stop – are a staple of marner's game. this clip, which culminates in an assist for no. 16, illustrates how swiftly the tactic can kill offensive zone sequences for the opposition.

countering the existing pressure applied by a teammate with pressure from the opposite direction often causes the puck carrier to hit the panic button and either turn back into the original pressure or throw the puck that way. bottom line: marner's tactic acts as a catalyst for possession changes.  

steers the puck carrier into poor ice

similar to controlling space in tandem with a teammate, this tactic – the easiest to discern of the bunch – sees marner independently trap opponents by angling them to the boards with his stick and body.

by pushing the puck carrier into a dead end, the 27-year-old limits what – if anything – his opponent can do, stripping the element of unpredictability and helping his teammates determine where to position themselves to successfully cut off the next play.

opposition with possession: quantifiable impact

when you consider how marner impacts the game in all the ways that statistics don't capture, the fact that he's also one of the best in the league in several quantifiable defensive categories is impressive.

here are his ranks among forwards this season, courtesy of sportlogiq:

2nd in total defensive plays

1st in defensive plays in the offensive zone

3rd in stick checks

1st in blocked passes

3rd in loose puck recoveries

that second stat – defensive plays in the offensive zone – is the one I would argue speaks most to marner being a pain to play against. the more plays he breaks up in this area of the ice, the more time and energy the opposition spends trying to exit its zone and keep the puck out of its net. 

defending is much more tiring (and much less fun) than attacking, especially when a player as offensively talented as no. 16 is on the ice.

here's a compilation of marner being in the right place at the right time to intercept passes, steal pucks, and regain possession thanks to his anticipation.

marner with possession of the puck

there are plenty of ways marner makes life a nightmare for opponents when he has the puck, but I want to zero in on one thing he excels at that doesn’t seem to receive enough attention: moving the puck from bad ice (the perimeter) to good ice (the middle) consistently.

the ability to make plays along the wall while under duress in all three zones is valuable, but the ability to improve the condition of the puck for your team in the process is a major competitive advantage. by leveraging his poise, awareness, vision, and creativity to repeatedly set teammates up to operate on the inside with time, space, and speed, marner puts opponents on their heels.

some video evidence:

he minimizes time in his own end by facilitating controlled exits and maximizes time in the opposition's end by initiating transition attacks and turning seemingly harmless possessions into dangerous chances that leave defenders scrambling.

again, not pleasant if you're on the opposing team.

parting thought

marner will never be that guy who takes big runs at opponents or wins physical battles left and right or sends teams into a tizzy with his speed. he is, however, the guy who intimidates with his skill and disrupts plays in a variety of ways. 

instead of punishing opponents with his body, he simply does so with his brain.

his game encourages us to challenge our perception of labels like "tough to play against" and serves as a reminder that quiet performances don't necessarily equate to unimpactful ones. value comes in many different forms, several of which are easy to miss.

speaking of value, the pending unrestricted free agent brings a good deal of it. in the interest of adhering to the expression I offered at the start of this piece, I won't should on the leafs, but will say marner's skillset and versatility would be tough to replace.

[veinsfullofstars]

hey just wondering, how do you draw daroach? i wanna figure him out for myself but dont feel like i get down how he looks well enough. thanks for the help if you have any, if not then thanks for just answering

Thank you for the question! And, yeah, I totally get it - that rat can be a nightmare to draw sometimes, haha. I definitely struggled with him a lot at first (you can kinda tell if you compare my earlier works to my recent ones). I think it’s because so much of him is obscured by his outfit in official art? The way the brim of his hat dips over his face or how his cape likes to defy physics - all in service of a cooler silhouette, sure, but taking away a lot of readability and foundation to work from in the process. I’ll try to offer some tips that work for me (though I’m hardly an expert on this, and teaching's not exactly my strong suit, so please bear with me if things get muddled, haha).

The main piece of advice I can give is gather and study as much reference as you can. Official art, concept art, promotional stuff, sprite sheets - whatever you can find, just grab ‘em and put ‘em somewhere you can easily pull up when you’re drawing. I get most of mine from Wikirby, Spriter’s Resource, and official sites like the Kirby JP Twitter, as well as screenshots taken directly from the games (a great way to get in-motion poses and back views, I’ve found). Here’s what my ref sheet for Daroach looks like (I also have a separate one for color swatches):

Kind of a mess, yeah, but very worth it, I assure you. The more visuals you have to work off of, the easier it will be to detect consistencies in design. Which brings me to my next point: shapes!

Most Kirby characters are, at their core, just a buncha simple shapes. It can be hard to tell sometimes when they wear clothes (like with our rat buddy here), but they still have similar foundations of circles and other rounded features. A way I've found that helps with this is to try redlining (that is, take a piece of reference and trace over it for the purpose of study, learning where lines connect, how silhouettes look, how different parts overlap, what shapes are used, etc.). Here’s an example:

This is a great way to find those design consistencies I mentioned before. I did these a bit messy for a better sense of movement (and ‘cause I’m practiced enough to sketch a little quicker), but you can always start slower and cleaner if it helps you see the shapes and layers more clearly. You can even do them multiple times to familiarize yourself with the design and eventually try copying them without tracing, like doing gesture drawings or life studies.

In Daroach, I’ve found that his head isn’t a perfect circle shape, but more like a rounded diamond, with his ears connecting at or just above the “points” on the sides. His body is a bit smaller than his head, and his snout smaller still, each having sort of a teardrop-like shape. His eyes are bigger than I expected them to be, half circles tilted down slightly, often cut off by his snout and hat to create a shaper angle (meant to make him look more intimidating perhaps?). His ears are taller than his hat, though they can tilt back to look shorter. There are also a lot of arcs and triangles present in his design, especially in his cape when it sits across his form or flares out, and the brim of his hat pointing down from just past his ears to right over his snout. Also, unlike many Kirby characters, he does in fact have a neck - it's just hidden behind his collar and bell most of the time (don't ask me why I spent so long verifying this, no I don't have ulterior motives, don't look at me).

Of course, these observations aren’t set in stone. Kirby characters rarely stay perfectly on-model (see Dedede for proof of that), and Daroach is clearly no exception. I mean, just look at these official pieces (all collected from Wikirby):

Even the folks at HAL Labs are not immune to style inconsistency. And that’s not a bad thing! We love a little personal flair in this house. There’s nothing wrong with altering the design a bit to fit your own style - in fact, it’ll probably happen naturally the more you practice, especially once you’re comfortable enough to work without a guide. Here’s some studies I did recently, no tracing, just observation (with different colors used to help me figure out layering):

I’ve seen other folks take their own designs even further than this, adding more fur or sharper shapes or even realistic rat features to our favorite thief. Nothing like stretching those creative muscles once you’ve got the basics down! On that note, don’t be afraid to be inspired by unofficial sources as well. If an artist you like draws Daroach (or any character) in a way you find appealing, ask yourself what it is you like about it, study it as you study official works, and find ways to incorporate elements of that into your own art - “steal like an artist” as the saying goes.

Another thing I recommend for Daroach specifically is studying how real top hats and capes look, especially from various angles and poses in motion. I find it helps to see exactly how fabric sits on a figure or what sides show at different positions. It might seem weird to use human reference for a cartoon rat, and it might take some finagling to get proportions right, but it’s surprisingly effective. I do this with fighting and athletic poses all the time to help figure out weight distribution and line of action. Don’t be afraid to expand your art repertoire into other fields - you never know when it might come in handy!

And, of course, the key thing to hammer home here is practice, practice, practice! Do studies, do gestures, draw with and without references, build muscle memory, do sketches you show to no one, draw memes, draw angst, take your time, fill pages with messy doodles or just drop one in a corner and call it a day. The more you draw this smarmy rat, the better you’ll get. That’s the long and short of it with any skill, creative or otherwise. You gotta try in order to get good, you gotta make mistakes in order to improve, you gotta be kind to yourself in order to do what you love.

Anyway, I think that’s all I got for now. Forgive me if this got a bit rambly or incoherent - I have trouble putting my thought process in words sometimes, haha. I sincerely hope this helps, and I wish you the best of luck with your own future rat-creating endeavors!

Sketch started and finished 06/14/24.

[kismetrose]

Vampire Therapist FTW

I don't tend to buy games/visual novels when they're first released and this week was an expensive one for me, but I grabbed this little gem as a consolation prize. I've missed visual novels and I was instantly interested in its premise. I mean, "Vampire Therapist" says so much so quickly!

Now, I haven't finished it yet, but I have had a delightful time with it thus far. The main character, Sam Walls the vampire cowboy, is an adorable cinnamon roll who wants to help other vampires thrive. His new vampire mentor, Andromachos, is as patient and civilized as you could hope an ancient vampire could be. Each of the patients is unique, and some of them are historic figures.

The view on vampires, their psychology, and their issues is interesting. One thing I appreciate is that the game goes out of its way to show how philosophies, religious beliefs, and other modes of thought influence their worldviews, even many years after those modes of thoughts dwindled in popularity. It reinforces how they are products of older times.

I've become partial to the term "bloodfather/mother/parent" for those who turn others into vampires; I automatically liked it better than V:tM's "sire."

You learn various cognitive distortions and identify them in the statements your patients make; this is the heart of the game experience. I've found myself hearing Sam in my head, identifying them IRL since I started playing, which has added an extra layer of amusement.

I haven't done multiple playthroughs yet so I haven't seen if your choices make much of a difference. There have been some moments when it's clear that it doesn't matter what you choose - you'll either have to go through all the options or you'll go through until you choose the right one. Either way, there doesn't seem to be much difference in how others respond. After a certain point in the patient-cowboy therapist exchange, you don't get many choices; Sam just proceeds to wrap up with his observations and advice.

This has been a little disappointing, since it may make replaying it less satisfying, but it's also reduced the need to save-scum for a persistent little perfectionist like me.

The art is beautiful and Western-style, which I prefer. The entire thing is voiced by good voice actors in a variety of accents which I have had no trouble understanding; having so much voiced is a special treat!

The music is good, but one thing that might bother some of folks is that the music from the club runs rather continuously beneath most conversations. If you find it distracting, you may have to turn it off.

I hope to say more later, but I thought I should put in a good word now. $15 ain't a lot but can be a lot to an indie game company, and buzz can be important for something newly released. If this sounds like it's your bag, there's no harm in grabbing it. You might even learn some things that'll be of use to you.

And yes, Matt Mercer does voice a couple of characters. That wasn't a main draw for me, but I know it is for some folks.

[a-sentient-penrose-triangle]

On the topic of Apophis (and Neheb-kau)

Part 1: Unpacking My Worship

Go ahead, scold me for using Apep's name. The reason gods are evil and vengeful and hateful and all the other nasty things that the gods have done to each other and to man (Zeus, Loki, Medusa, Persephone, the entire rivalry of Set and Horus), but in the end like all stories it has a moral. It has morality, a reasoning, a balance in the end. I use the name of the "accursed primeval force" because, unlike many, everything deserves love as long as they 1) do not hurt others and 2) do not force things of self/themself upon those unwilling.

The Christian God, Yahweh, and His many counters are one such example. You think you know God? If you've been in an abusive Christian house you probably know Him for his rage and hate, and I'm sorry for that, but it was never God, but whoever forced this view upon you. Negativity clumps together like Grey Goo, I know because my Mom would invite all kinds of nasty shit in unintentionally, and I'm traumatized by pictures talking and constant nightmares. God is as stated in the Bible, Existing. Exhilarating, right? Well yes, when you look at the entire universe you start to realize how odd our existence is. At the edge of a mild galaxy, we sit and fester with our evil, just like all the ancient texts state humans have done for, well, ever. We are a petri dish, an experiment like all the gods after Him. That's why we see fuck ups in all these texts. Mistakes were made, and now, do you ever see a god just chilling on the street?

Morality is the reason we're here, its the reason things have right and wrong, because God saw that like all the deities he created below him to help with delegation, that Him and them would make mistakes and fuck up. (That's why the bible drops off so far, and is hard to find actual historical evidence of as well. It was wiped for a clean slate, without the gods and God interacting. The Flood is the biggest example.)

Now, what does this have to do with Apophis and Neheb-kau? A whole lot. Snake invocation was always two sided, one wrong move and you could be envenomed, but also its how we harvest the antidote. Neheb-kau, for as little as i can find, is (a form of) Apophis. The biggest point I use is not only their similar primeval nature, but also their energy. I work with Neheb-kau and a good chunk of the gods, and God (all in all I'm universally Polytheistic, believe in nearly everything). I work with God under the simple pretense of one of the Ten Commandments: "Thou shall not worship another before me." Never really states you cant worship, like, Apollo or Hades as long as you understand "Hey, thanks for creating all the others who can interact with us as you sit observing the fish tank of Creation."

Neheb-kau (Who i shall call Neheb for brevity) has actively given me permission to use both Apophis and Seta/Sata (A deification of becoming one with the snake, mentioned in The Book of the Dead of Ani, and i believe others) as names or acknowledgement. Neheb has shared over dreams, meditation, and other methods about his past and where he sits on the totem pole, which happens to be a layer or two below God.

Why I believe this is from experience as a Christian. God's love is as strong as his wrath, and i believe this is from the fact that He simply cannot, and will not interact with man again until we learn to all get along, even with the deities we victimize, villanize or put upon a pedistal. Neheb gives me very God vibes (like Ra) both very primal entities, and thusly are very raw and hard to connect to.

I wish I had a better outlet to rant this all too, because as you can see theres a lot of things going on that even I struggle to keep track of. I feel as though there is justifacation in cultures demonizing or hating, but it gets to a point that it feels as though a medical or scientific process created an entity for no reason. Apophis is fine to be around, and i do not worship any gods as of yet. I am a student under them, using their energy to work myself. Whatever opinion you have, please share. I'd be more of a Thoth devotee if it wernt for the fact that he simply hasnt called.

I am by no means done, but i can only let anger fuel me for so long before i realize im forcing my opinion down others throats. Also will admnit, lost a couple of thoughts writing this, its a rant after all.(hopefully the #tw covers those with triggers)

[bookishfeylin]

Hello! I hope you are doing well :)

(I needed help from a translator to write this, I apologize for the errors that this text will probably have)

Firstly, I would like to express my admiration for you. I cultivated it through reading the criticisms so well placed by you about the universe of ACOTAR.

I, having had a very intense relationship with reading over the years, was starting to despair after reading the first three ACOTAR books because I felt very alone when I realized that apparently there were almost no real critical analyzes (that I had found) about this book saga. It was then that I found Tumblr and, along with it, some very interesting profiles that talked about what I wanted to talk about. Yours was one of them.

My experience with ACOTAR is quite complex. When I first heard about it (given its growing fame), I loved the plot, as I love reading fantasy. I cultivated expectations on my own, but I also place this on fame and people's enthusiasm (and hatred) for some characters that I will later mention. So I read it… and damn, I was so disappointed after the second book. I fell off the horse completely, as some would say here where I live. I couldn't believe how SJM started to fail so much with the entire initial proposal of the books and how she managed to fail in developing characters and plots with so much potential. Furthermore, the romanticization of abuses, retcons, plot holes, catchphrases to deceive readers, narratives conflicting with actions, failure to make clear the biased narrative... among many other things. But one of the things that shocked me the most was how, to this day, many people fail to see certain FACTS and the FAULTS in all of this, their only reactions when these are pointed out are irrational responses in defense of this created illusion. Rhysand is the most disappointing character I've ever read in my life, perhaps because I see the potential that could be used in him, Sarah's true protagonist (this is just one of the things that completely annoy me about the author and, consequently, the character).

I could cite MANY examples of the flaws I mentioned, as you mentioned throughout your posts, but one thing that really bothers me is the way the characters and the fandom itself treat Nesta, trapped in the blind illusion that everything that IC does is the right thing, since that's what they think and say. It's really disgusting. I don't know why in the world I deluded myself into thinking that Nesta being the protagonist of Silver Flames would improve anything by knowing her critical perspective on the IC and things in general, since she is not very influential and very observant. I honestly don't know why I did this to myself, knowing what SJM did with the previous books.

Tamlin and Nesta are sensitive points for me, being the main characters that led me to, in fact, have an increasingly critical view of these books (they were my critical awakening). I realized that one of the main common points that makes me upset is the way Rhysand deals with them, just like he deals with anyone: the way he wants, without reprimands (sometimes it's even encouraged). As if it were his right.

I understand that Rhysand's relationship with each of them has different complex layers, especially with Tamlin as it is a story that has been developing for much longer and is something personal to Rhysand AND Tamlin (in contrast to Nesta, who had never done anything for him), although there are very superficial mentions of it in proportion to how much Rhys gets involved and returns to it throughout the books (some would say that he simply needs to have Tamlin in his life constantly because of the way he always finds a way to mention it him or go see him, he can't let go). I have A LOT of things to say about this, but I'm summarizing.

About Nesta, someone very young in comparison and who was hated by Rhys before he even met her. He didn't even give her a chance to observe her a little or ask her anything. I would think he should be intelligent and more mature because of his age and how he likes to show that he knows how to handle things, but that's not what his actions show in most of the books.

Sometimes I think he picks on Nesta and Tamlin so much because they are the only ones who actually stand up to him, question him and throw his actions in his face. They don't accept his stance easily and they have the courage to respond accordingly. They are the big stones in his expensive and nocturne shoes.

I'm not going to start talking too much about Feyre per se, but I would like to point out that I hate with all my mental strength the daemati shipp feysand and I hope in a childish way that they fictionally read this in my mind. In my view, they have absolutely nothing good or remotely interesting to add and develop from each other. Rhysand calls them equals in every way, but he always knows things and chooses what to say to her as is convenient for him. He tells her she has a choice, but he is the only one who provides the options he wants her to choose. Feyre stopped questioning, she believes anything he says from the start. She even stopped analyzing her own actions. He gives her a false appearance of power and she pretends that she knows how to use it. On the first opportunity to introduce her to the CoN, he undermines any kind of respect they could develop for her, whether through fear (as stupid and lame as that may be) or what. Her personality was an ocean and since she started dating Rhys, the ocean had become a shallow puddle of mud. It seems that the trend is getting worse, seeing as how SJM has been showing us who her main character is. Feyre was a means to the end, nothing about her position in this saga was constructed in a decent way, unfortunately. Rhys does what he wants and doesn't have the limits he should have, bringing this to Feyre when in Summer he tells Tarquin that she does whatever she wants, without thinking about the consequences, just because she carries a title that Rhys gave to her. She can do what she wants because HE is saying so. It's not about Feyre, as the catchphrase makes it seem. This is not a moment taken to glorify her in front of others. At this moment Rhysand wants to show and prove his power to another male who should have the same authority as him, Tarquin. This guy's ego, seriously.

Anyway, amidst so many opinions about the things I'm curious to know, I'd like to ask what you think is the REAL reason for Rhys' growing dislike towards Nesta (and Tamlin too, if you want. I I don't buy the superficiality with which the whole thing about the murder of their families was told, but that's just me pondering). And the possibilities surrounding Nesta and Rhysand's complex relationship, expectations and even what you would have changed. If you want to respond, of course.

Today I found myself reflecting on this specifically and I'm still putting things together in my head, so I decided to share this question with you.

This “message” was much longer than I expected, I ended up getting carried away and had to stop myself from saying more. At this point, I don't even judge if you haven't read it, hehe. I appreciate it anyway if you read any part of this.

Anyway, thank you very much for sharing your analysis. I feel so represented with them! I will continue to follow you here, XD

Xx, Tess

Awwww I got teary reading this message! Thank you so much, Tess! And I agree with so much of what you’ve said here! This book series crumbles under the slightest bit of analysis, and I’m glad so many of us have started to realize that. I’m glad you feel represented here and ill definitely continue to be here :)

[shieldofiron]

BTS: for Vecna Vision 3D?

Oh Maan... So many scenes are my favorite but the Joyride chapter going into Steve's Vecnavision is so actually my fave.

This whole sequence was in Steve's perspective and he's not exactly the most observant of guys so there's several layers of dramatic irony in him agonizing over Billy and coming to a realization about his sexuality at the worst possible time, aka in the middle of the upside down trying to get out. Meanwhile Billy's clearly having his heart broken by how well Nancy and Steve work as a team, and do things without thinking for each other. Poor Billy thinks its a failure of communication that he has to voice his needs (it's actually good communication.)

This sequence's got everything I want: Steve realizing he's bisexual, sexy wound tending, Billy ripping out a demodog's heart or something, car chases, Robin with a makeshift flamethrower, tender homoeroticism, and Vecna being THE drama.

Eddie and Billy flirt so much in this scene my beta converted to a full on metalsandwich reader mid-fic. Not a joke, she ONLY ships them as a triad because Eddie's SUCH a flirt. He really is just like that.

I wrote it on a plane to Austin, TX and didn't have wifi access but I mostly accurately got the town layout.

The cyclone of demobats is my favorite part, it took me a while to figure out where I wanted the sequence to go, but I love the idea of swarms and swarms of them attacking, like in The Birds. Side note, is the Creel house meant to look like this or like Bates motel?

They do show that electricity kind of does exist in the upside down, and that objects there are from a particular time, so Billy figures out pretty quickly that hotwiring a car might be a possibility. One thing I wanted to play with is that from the moment Billy figures out that the lake gate is a no go, he is not stopping until he gets them home, he can't even stand still for one moment. While Nancy is gathering clues, he's scavenging as quickly as possible. That's part of what makes him a good team member- he takes risks and works fast, because he's used to obstacles making things harder.

And can we talk about Billy's healing factor? I'm dying to talk about his healing factor. This is the first time we actually get to see him really use it, he grabs things with his bare hands that would make the rest of them shrink back in fear, like crushing demobat skulls with his bare hands. I particularly love the part where Robin asks about upside down rabies, and Billy says he's pre-infected. I wanted him to have that sort of careless dark humor about his powers, like a certain someone who shares a lot with Billy.

And finally, Steve's VecnaVision. While I appreciate Nancy's in canon, it doesn't reveal a whole lot, actually it seems to step her back in character development all the way to season 1. I understand Barb dying is her thing but it seemed a little less evolved. So I had to imagine what Steve's biggest fear would be. First, Vecna plays heavily on his intelligence, which is an obvious pain point, but then goes further. Steve is a really protective person, which of course Vecna sees as a weakness. I really wanted to show that Vecna is most powerful here, and that he can cause physical sensation, completely warping a person's sense. Why show someone a vision limited by the powers of boring physics when you can do anything. Steve's Vision includes a lot of earthly references, he's thrown through the ground, digging into dirt. He's very solid and defined, ans his sense of self is the same way.

Later when Billy goes into his vision, everything is liquidy, scenes dripping and swirling and drifting, because I wanted to show that Vecna tailors his vision not only to the person but the way the person views the world. Billy's in a moment of transition, and he feels sort of insolid and unsure about so many things. He loves the ocean, but there's a fear there too, because the ocean can also be loss.

Maybe when I write the sequel we'll get to see what Vecna would do for everyone else.

Unusual asks

[ingravinoveritas]

Since the opening credits for GO 2 were posted yesterday, I’ve seen some fans saying that what was depicted in the credits (Aziraphale and Crowley going to Hell, for instance) seems at odds with Neil previously describing season 2 as “quiet, gentle, and romantic.” But my interpretation of this sequence--especially given the rooftop scene that follows--is that “hell” is both literal and metaphorical.

Being pulled apart by forces beyond your control. Trudging through caverns of loneliness and rivers of bubbling despair at the very thought of losing the person you love. It’s the idea that sometimes you have to go through hell to just be with that person, to get to the quiet moments where you can just sit beside them, hand in hand, and watch the rain (hearts) fall...

[auroras-void]

Hmn interesting, I don't have any experiences with psychosis, but I actually also relate to this.

Less so the ominous messages but moreso just in how my brain processes information like this. With the little HUD overlays and weird ponderings of normal objects.

For me it's like, I enter into a new environment, and I pick out a random detail and I write some information about it into RAM, and I repeat for other objects around me until I've built a complete scene and my brain kinda looks like this. I don't literally see a HUD but the way it outlines what my brain is actually processing feels like, spot on.

Especially the sensory ones, like the individual rain drops being highlighted, or the bright spot on the ground getting more attention than the cars and people walking by. A lot of the weird observations too, I look for small little mundane things and find ways that they make me happy, I look for patterns to link them to, fun facts I know, things that would make a good photo, a good sketch or a good poem. All sorts of things.

Sometimes I disassemble them in my mind and turn them in a schematic overlay, or a wire mesh (not as like a 'this isn't real' way (usually), but as in a 'how would I make this in Blender' type way), sometimes its a microscopic view, or I imagine the atomic structures of the things around me, and I have figures from various science textbooks around me. Houses often get blown up into a parts diagram as I imagine foundation, framing, utilities, sheathing, roofing, finish work step by step. Sometimes theres sketch layers and brush strokes.

And then meanwhile there is this larger primary monologue going on in my brain, it doesn't really get attached to objects and observations as much as I see here, (though part of that pattern recognition process includes looking for things that seem like good symbolism for whatever I'm thinking about or what emotions I'm feeling). It often feels like a separate space inside my head that I retreat into, or also sometimes it can be like, my imagination is this plane of existence adjacent to the real world along the w-axis of 4-D space, it's filled with stars and nebula sometimes, but if my thoughts are running wild and I'm under a lot of stress, it actually does kinda spill out like this, but it usually feels less connected to the normal observations, like that hud information is processed and then hastily scrawled over with my main monologue before I can read it. Or like different parts of that hud are being highlighted and clicked on to fit a narrative. (Be it positive or negative)

It doesn't always look exactly like this, especially when that main thread is really locked in on a task, or I'm in a familiar environment where there's little vying for attention, (though if I'm bored I will often start trying to look for things to create these processes almost subconsciously, (and there's *always* something that will, and I can also always just start looking for them in my imagination)). But like, I have experienced this video before, it feels very,, familiar. Like I've even had fairly similar amounts and kinds of observations before, (albeit with different specifics that are more my own voice.)

Noisy environments in particular though do this to me, and particularly bad ones might have so much that it's cluttering the whole "screen", it's what makes them so stressful. Because it's like, each of these loads stuff into memory and starts processes that are all going onto the same CPU thread. Once you have too many going you get performance drops as the processor has to rapidly switch between active programs and you start to run out of DRAM. And it starts putting more and more elements onto the screen making it harder and harder to see or to focus on any of it.

(Worth noting for all of this, that I do have a RAADS-R score of 97, an MQ of 93 and an ADHD diagnosis lol.)

[cobrabobra]

"Cold"

Carl Grimes x fem!reader, praising, vaginal fingering

I'm still new to this, so I apologize if it's monotone. Also English is not my first language so there might be mistakes.

"You're dead!" Carl looked at (Y/N) wide eyed, snow covering his face as he stood surprised. He bend down to take the biggest scoop of snow and throw it at his girlfriend. Oh, it was war now.

It was winter in Alexandria, a solid few inches of snow covered the ground, cold air tickled their lungs as they ran around the hole camp, playing in snow. But now playtime was over, it was time for some serious fighting.

(Y/N) only laughed cutely, shrugging, looking straight into Grimes' blue eyes, challenging him and acting innocent at the same time.

Her body moved, clearly readying itself to escape, but the boy was faster, tackling her to the ground, covering them in layers of fluffy, fresh snow.

"Gotcha" he smirked proudly as if he just tamed a wild beast, not grounded a teenage girl. "Can't escape now, sunshine" their breaths mixed, that's how close they were, their noses practically rubbing against each other, their hips pressed together separated with just a thin layer of their soaked clothes.

That's when he noticed she was shivering, her teeth clacking from the cold. It wasn't unexpected, they didn't have clothes that were designed for this kind of weather and they were rolling around in snow for hours, yet Carl couldn't help but feel concerned.

"Gosh, you're freezing" he picked her up, wrapping her with his hands, trying to warm her up a bit, but obviously that didn't help much. "We're going back" Grimes decided, taking her hand into his, their fingers were stiff, they barely had any feeling in them.

The walk to Carl's home was longer than they both expected, exhaustion suddenly hit them, cold piercing through their clothes, snow under their feet slowing them down significantly. When they finally got there the boy was already dreaming of a warm bath or drinking a hot cocoa sitting in front of a fireplace.

They left their shoes on a towel that Rick put up earlier and tried calling for him, but no one responded.

"Must be at Carol's" Carl hummed and stepped further inside. He took his coat off and threw it on the couch. "You want something hot to drink? Or we can take a shower?" He turned to face her, awaiting her decision.

"Shower" she managed to say, her jaw clenched, still bit warmed up yet.

"Let's get you out of these clothes" he stepped towards her, his hands on her sides, pulling her sweater up, revealing her smoth belly and her silky breasts covered with a bra.

Normally, she'd feel embarrassed, they've done stuff like this many times and she always blushed like crazy, something about Carl made it feel like it was still a new feeling. This time though, this wasn't sexual, he was just taking care of her, helping her and it made her heart flutter and filled her chest with warmth but it was the different kind.

Her pants fell down, belt buckle cliking as it hit the floor, leaving her in just her underwear. He shivered again, goosebumps covering her body, she tried to shield herself from the cold. Carl noticed that and quickly dragged her to the bathroom.

The titles were as cold as ice, making her toes curl at the unpleasant sensation. She stood there, observing her boyfriend's movement, he undressed quickly, too quickly for her. Yes, she was freezing but who wouldn't appreciate a little show?

(Y/N) hissed when her cold fingers touched her back in an attempt to undo her bra. Although it took longer than usual, it landed in the basket, just like Carl's garments moments ago. Same thing with her underwear, some almost painful touches, shutting her eyes at the feeling of clothes sticking to her skin.

"Get in" he said, his boxers long gone, curled up with the rest of their clothes. He took a minute to take in the view of her naked body, tracing her curves with his eyes, swallowing hard at the sight of her vulnerable state.

Piping hot, almost boiling water, covered their bodies as they stood in each other's embrace, letting their muscles relax, which wasn't easy because of the sensation of (Y/N)'s hard nipples pressed into Grimes' chest, their hips rubbing against each other with every little movement.

Little satisfied moans coming from the girls mouth, weren't helping either, they went straight to his dick, that was already teasing her sensitive folds.

"Feeling good, baby?" He chuckled, moving his hand to grab her neck, gently massaging the soft flesh underneath. This made his head fuzzy, this brief interaction, one like many others, made him realise once again how much he loved her.

"Yeah" her voice was breathy, her head tilted slightly back, clearly enjoying herself. She felt a familiar feeling slowly building up in her abdomen.

Carl seemed to notice that, because his fingers slided down her stomach, looking straight into her eyes as he started to tease her clit.

"Can't tell if it's the water or are you that wet already" he muttered into her neck, placing delicate kisses all over.

"Mm" she sighed, bitting her lip lightly. "Both"

"Good" he whispered straight into her ear, his voice unusually deep and raspy, like always when he got aroused. "You're so good for me"

She moaned uncontrollably at the praise, nodding her head a little, trying to show she indeed trying to be the best for him.

"My good girl, so wet for me" he kissed her jaw, slowly going down, towards her breasts. He took her nipple into his mouth and sucked it deliciously, trying to distract her form the feeling of his first finger sliding in her tight hole.

His movements started off slow, teasing, trying to get her as desperate as humanly possible. All it took was bending his finger a little for her to start rutting her hips against his hand.

He bit her nipple, delicate yet still inflicting a little bit of this delicious pain that got her weak in her knees.

"You're so pretty. My pretty girl, you're doing so good" he added another finger which got another whimper out of her, her thighs trembled, she leaned back again the shower wall to prop herself.

Wet strands of hair her stuck to her face, water dripping from her chin, down at her collar bones, continuing to slide across her body, to finally disappear between her legs, where Carl's fingers were stretching her pussy.

Carl's dick stood up gracefully, hurting like hell without attention it needed, but it didn't matter, now making (Y/N) come was all that counted.

"I'm close" her voice was weak and quiet. She tried to restrain herself from making too much noise, the bathroom walls carried sounds like the newest Bluetooth speaker.

"Yeah? You're gonna cum for me? Cum in my first fingers?" He teased, his thumb circling her clit as his fingers practically pounded her poor, sensitive cunt. "Be good and cum for me"

Her toes curled again, this time bit from the cold but the feeling of an approaching orgasm. Grimes' lips muffled her moan, wet tounge sliding in, exploring her mouth as she felt her body tensing up, reading itself for the finish.

His fingers abused that spot inside her that made her stomach flutter, that lit fireworks in her abdomen.

Metalic taste of blood filled their mouths, coming from Carl's lip that she took liberty to bite as she came. Pure pleasure flooded her mind as she rode her orgasm, fucked herself on his fingers.

"You're not cold anymore, are you?"

[merakiui]

idk why suddenly im thinking…

Soft yan!jade……. That would be so weird yet interesting????? Like imagine his darling scared of thunder and he suddenly cuddle them and whispered their ear just sweet talking to calm them—

(AFAB) all affectionate on her period month, cook anything his darling want, rub her tummy cus cramps?? BRO I COULD IMAGINE THAT AND MAN I WOULD BE WILLING BE OBEDIENT TO HIM LMAOOAOA

Jade's idea of comfort is combating fear with logic (or facts that are slightly more disturbing than the actual thing you're afraid of, as if that'll truly dispel your nerves). It can be difficult to view his actions as genuine because he's always so deceptive. Unlike Floyd, who means everything he says and does, Jade has so many layers to everything that makes him him. Even his smiles have layers, so when he holds his hands over your ears to block out the sound of thunder and has you look into his eyes while he speaks, his voice a low muffle, you have no idea what prompted such treatment. Jade usually does everything for a reason; he calculates his actions beforehand. He thinks through a gesture, weighing whether it's necessary in that moment. A relationship with him might feel very give and take, though it's more mandatory for you considering you have no choice.

But he does have moments like the one written above where he's very soft and sweet. Logic isn't as soothing as the heart in some cases, and even Jade is aware of this. He's never spontaneous with his affection, though. Even that is carefully considered and executed. If Jade consoles you each time you're frightened, you might come to rely on him and view his presence as something comforting. Your fear doesn't bother him as much as it bothers Floyd, who hates to see his shrimpy upset. Jade's more interested in the psychology behind fears and the actions and words taken and said to drive them away. Perhaps your relationship won't be as strained as it currently is if he can be the one who rescues you from the things that frighten you.

Jade will use your fears like one might wield a double-edged sword. He'll file them away in the event he needs to subject you to them in the future, whether as a punishment or for some other reason. But he'll also keep note of them so that he can decide when to comfort you and when to step back and simply observe.

When it comes to your menstrual cycle, he's more likely to be very hyper-aware of you and, more importantly, the fact that you're bleeding. It's his instinctive nature as a predator to be on high alert when he smells blood, so naturally Jade will be extremely focused on you in the way a predator might when analyzing their injured prey. But he treats you very nicely when he knows you're suffering and there's not much you can do to control it. He'll cook your favorite meals, he'll give you a heating pad or medicine for your cramps, and sometimes he might even massage your shoulders or your stomach in hopes of chasing the cramps away.

He also informs you that he's aware of this marvelous, little life hack to relieve your cramps and provide enjoyment for both you and him. You already know where he's going with this based on the amused smirk that tugs his lips up. Even when you're in pain, he has to get a jest in. But it has you laughing dryly, so maybe he's succeeded in distracting you from the cramps, however temporary of a distraction it may be. You don't give him the satisfaction of engaging in this "marvelous, little life hack" of his, but Jade calmly nods, unfazed, and says he'll have a chance next month.

[woollymitts]

Why WARRIOR NUN is the ultimate homage to Female Sainthood and why you should care

OK this is going to be longish series as I have so many opinions. The show has revived my love for all things female sainthood and relics and all that holy stuff.

As a fantasy series embedded within Roman Catholic Reformation ideas and refracted through the baroque aesthetic, it is deliberately too much. Too hyperbolic. Like adolescent girls losing their shit over their latest crush the TV show is just way way over the top in the very best way.

This is where high and low culture mashes together into a gorgeous multi-layered lasagna of meaning. I love how the show doesn’t give two hoots about cultural hierarchies.

I wrote a PhD about female sainthood way back in the Ice Age. In particular, I loved how some of the brightest and best of these women transgressed, breaking tons of papally sanctioned rules and generally went fuck the status quo and clerical authority.

First, a little primer in how to view the world with a medieval perspective. It is often refracted through lenses we would term as allegorical and fantastical.

There are some Italian scholars that hold that all the reports of demons, angels and dragons were due to everyone being basically either drunk or high. Water awash with bacteria was going to kill you. So in the West to make it sterile it was brewed, ecoli being no match for alcohol. Everyone,everywhere, and much of the time, was inebriated.

In particular, the argument goes that the majority of the European population also ate some form of rye bread which was contaminated with fungi that had hallucinogenic properties. In essence, people swallowed the fantastical stories while supping on their daily portion of magic mushroom bread.

I happen to think this is too reductivist. They lived in a world where scientific thinking as we understand was long forgotten and epistemologically remote that it is yet to be discovered. The Enlightenment, Renaissance thinking and scientific discovery were a couple of hundred years off.

Further, all written communication is within the monopoly of the educated religious elite conversing with each other in Latin. The Church dictated terms of reference of life to the rest of the population for about one thousand years. The super highway of thought was copyrighted in its entirety by the Catholic Church.

It was not a con trick. The medieval thinker just approached what they saw and felt through inductive rather than deductive reasoning. Interpretation starts from the premise of where have I seen this before?

The monkish scholars would run to the library and consult works that clued them in on what they observed in the world around them. They applied their scholarship within terms they found familiar and reassuring and therefore real. Remember this: distinguishing between inductive and reductive thinking will help you understand the medieval mindset on its own terms without our modern judgements cluttering up their view of the world.

The second most important thing to remember and something the TV series does so well is that the veil between what is corporeal, ie of this world, and incorporeal, not of this world and sometimes interpreted as spiritual, is wafer thin.

It is a credit to the medieval imagination that they could escape into their minds when the reality of existence is that of subsistence and survival for the vast majority. Let’s take how circumscribed their geographical limits are as an example.

In a short lifetime of 30 years, if you are lucky, the distance travelled and your world in probably about a days walk. We are talking 15 miles max. If you have a horse a bit further. In practical terms, that meant your home, the land you worked, where you paid your tithe to the local lord and the market place which was extra exciting on high days and holy days.

So in this landscape apart from the local lord’s manor or barns the largest edifices on the landscape was the churches. Unlike your wattle and daub shitty house, it was made from the latest materials of dressed stone and vaulted in tufa. The spire dominated the landscape. Its bell regulated your day. On a Sunday you would sit in the nave staring at the judgement fresco showing heaven and hell while a priest intoned something magical in a language that was incomprehensible as a sign of who was spiritually and materially dominant.

Areala, Ava, Lilith and all the halo bearers are not merely a fictional exaggeration to the medieval populace. They come out of a cosmography of sainthood and female communities that are insanely muscular in ambition compared to our expectations of what women can achieve. Current girl power and ambition is anaemic compared to what those women wanted then.

Hey, girl, in the twenty first century you can be whatever you want- a CEO, a doctor, an anodyne influencer of your fellow tik tok addicts; the president of the US (oh hang on that one is still buffering)

The saints’ lives are a written cornucopia of all the slayers of dragons in powerful men. Women who wanted and got so much more and were written up in lore. Statues were erected in their honour. Communities were founded in their name. And little men who overawed and slightly freaked out tried to keep up and tell their stories in a more palatable manner.

There are literally thousands of examples recorded and collected by the Catholic church. So far as ten thousand and counting. The project in earnest began three centuries ago when the church’s response to the Protestant Reformation was to double down on the stuff for which they were excoriated by their more pious and puritanical critics.

- preposterous claims of ability of items of dubious provenance to cure ills ie relic collection and pilgrimage.

- the miracles performed by the elite of the church ie those proposed as saints in an attempt to assert the dominance of the spiritual over the material world.

The church came out of the closet on this. Actually it sashayed down the religious runway of hyperbolic campery in all its baroque finery. The Roman Catholic church were telling their opponents that their worship was just so much cooler than the pared down asceticism currently doing the rounds. And they used and promoted their saints to provide a techni-coloured ultra saturated with spiritual dynamite exemplars.

As a preview I want to pick a few female examples from this rich tapestry and discuss how they relate to all things Warrior Nun. The ones we can do some more in depth analysis on are

Margaret of Antioch Slayer of Dragons. Enough said

Hildegarde of Bingen. I give you the ultimate Medieval Renaissance woman. Medic, composer, mystic, scholar, abbess, counsellor to kings and popes. Worked out how blood ciculated through the body five hundred years before a dude took credit for it. She came line of women who liked telling the pope off starting with Mary Magdalene and including Catherine of Siena

Joan of Arc; proto Ripley taking on the alien English for the namby pamby Dauphin.

Benedetta Carlini. The poor Florentine scribes seriously lost their shit over her. The church authorities were investigating in the seventeenth century for potential beatification In a series of interviews, her doings in the abbey with her companion cause so much scandal. It had them reversing that process so fast everyone got monastic whiplash. Ignore the Verhoeven version; it is shit and doesn’t do her justice on any level.

[siena-sevenwits]

(Written yesterday) Well, it’s Epiphany, and the end of Christmas proper. I know many continue to celebrate Christmastide all the way until Candlemas, but our tree came down today and I don’t really do much to observe the extended season. So it seems to me that if I’m going to finally revisit Elystan’s point of view in the Christmas chapters, now that I know a little more of his history, I’d best do it before Epiphany is out. Here we go!

[Turns on “Denn es is tuns ein Kind geboren” from “Der Messias.” Since this is Elystan’s pov I really ought to listen in English (tangent: aren’t we Anglophones blessed Handel was in Ireland when he wrote it?) but I thought I’d listen in German as a nod to the Liennese in the room.]

I love the fact that although Elystan’s good with classics when it comes to languages, German is not his forte. This isn’t something you see so often in fiction – that an aptitude for a language, or even languages, doesn’t necessarily apply across the board. (And of course it has the story layer that he and Josiah don’t understand each other, even though they technically speak each others’ languages. Boys, there is so much you’re hiding from others – and so much you don’t see in yourselves.)

Ha. Even here in Corege, Tamett’s Noriberreanness (sp?) is still a point against him in the eyes of the masters.

“[H]e needs to invest in a copy of Bellwell’s Guide for the Traveller in Corege. All good bookstores have it. Changed my life.” Heaven help me, Elystan thinks his jokes are so funny – and I’m smirking despite myself.

“And that distracted Josiah’s attention from the depths of the literary gem he was composing…” Oh that you knew the systematic and painful stuffing down of grief you’re witnessing from outside, Elystan. [I should really be listening to Satie’s Gnossiennes or something equally sombre for Josiah’s composition, but we are not in his head.]

“I’ll leave a box of chocolates in the empty chair in the King’s box, in your memory.” OOF –  the joke’s aimed at disgusting Josiah, but yeah, let’s make a joke about an empty chair in the King’s Box right now, Elystan. That’s certainly a good joke for you to make. (I doubt he’s actually thinking along the lines I am, but still.)

Oh, Elystan, your mother would love to take you to the movies if you would let her… And she writes to him faithfully even though she never gets any back. I understand why there’s such an enormous rift between them, and she’s certainly not blameless – but this must be a hard time for her, having realized at least some of the damage she’s caused, how broad the gulf is, spent the summer trying to mend their relationship among many other things, then had to send him away for his own sake. And she never hears from him. That would be hard. These stories have such huge themes of attachment and how hurt to that attachment ripples into so many seemingly unrelated areas of life. My heart goes out to both Elystan and Bethira.

Oh gosh, he almost asked Josiah was he was going to do with his Mother for Christmas. The anniversary of his mother’s December death is almost here, and right this moment he’s writing a paper about how above grief a real man needs to be. Josiah heard that pause loud and clear.

The way schoolboy culture won’t let them just say “family.” (It’s the heart of all this, it’s all about family, and they can’t say it, they can’t say it. They’re not even consciously thinking about it – they’re all just copying each other – but they haven’t got families anymore. They’ve got [airy wave of the hand] people.”

Josiah wrinkled his nose. “How about the rest of the year?” If he had not been such an overgrown lump, Elystan would have knocked him out of his seat. – Oh boy. Knowing what Elystan’s rest of the year has been like this past year, that one smarts even more.

I am eternally amused by Elystan’s ongoing crocodilianess.

He misspelled “grievous.” No undertones there.

Love these boys so much. Since this is a revisit in light of what I know of their previous lives, these comments are likely to all tend to the “oh no” direction, but also I am smiling so lovingly at all of them.

A Christmas Chapter: Elystan’s POV

Last year I wrote two versions of this story, from Tamett’s and Josiah’s POVs. I had intended to leave it there, but a friend wanted Elystan’s POV, so after a long struggle of trying to find a story I’d never really planned between the lines of the existing pieces, here is the third and final version.

This one runs very long, nearly 17000 words. It’s not perfect, probably has wording issues right and left, and it feels a bit more like a series of random events than a cohesive whole, but I’m sick of fussing with it for now, and you’re very welcome to tell me (politely) what could be improved.

In case you’re unfamiliar with these characters, Elystan is the thirteen-year-old son of a disgraced former king of Corege (one of several nations in this  Edwardianesque world). After circumstances that have resulted in his having a massive grudge against his mother and his half-brother Delclis (the current King), he has been sent to Hollingham, an elite boarding school, where he rooms with Josiah, Crown Prince of Lienne, and has befriended Josiah’s paid companion Tamett. They’re about to reach the end of their first term, and Elystan is faced with the daunting prospect of having to spend the Christmas holidays with his dearly beloathed family.

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[obae-me]

Oh The Horror

Mammon/Reader, Mammon/MC, fluff

Word Count: 1461

Note: Is my formatting ever the same? Not really. But I had to write Soft Mammon so I hope extreme cuddles distracts from that enough. 

Curses, hexes, witches, ghosts, monsters of all sorts, literal hell, and yet the second most powerful pillar of the Devildom couldn’t stomach horror. It was something you still had a hard time comprehending, but after time you just learned to accept it. Anything that was even remotely frightening had Mammon screaming within seconds. Of course, whenever you were around, he tried his best to keep his composure, but he still flinched and clung to anyone within reach like his life depended on it. 

It was so bad, his brothers didn’t even bother to use horror as a tactic to get revenge. Often. 

He’s getting better, you thought. Tonight you, Satan, Mammon, and Levi all sat together and watched an old human classic. The Grudge. Initially, Mammon hadn’t even been invited to the movie night, solely because he wouldn't be able to take it. But his stubborn nature and somewhat big head had him announcing that, he was the Great Mammon, he could handle a human movie. 

He couldn’t. 

Within the first ten minutes, he was stuck to your side and quite literally trembling. His siblings shook their heads, the slightest hint of sympathy--mostly for you--in their eyes before they allowed themselves to focus on the screen. It was difficult for you to pay attention however, when the self-proclaimed Great Mammon was a fearful mess. This hadn’t been the first time this had happened for sure, but it had been the first time he stuck to you rather than running for his brothers. It...was heartwarming. You wrapped your arms around him and rubbed his back, assuring him that he was okay. Luckily, he wasn’t aware of Satan’s and Levi’s growing irritation, their eyes flickering back to you and him in jealousy that he was getting all the attention. A loud scream made Mammon shout in return, his posture shrinking as he leaned partially in your lap. He stayed that way for the whole movie, hiding his face in your shoulder, not even watching the film anymore. 

And you thought that had been the end of it. 

He acted up a big game for sure, despite his shaky voice, saying that it hadn’t been that bad. Then he left rather quickly, speeding off to Diavolo-knows-where while you were dragged into an in-depth discussion with the remaining demons. They’d adored it, Satan getting into the nitty gritty of cinematography details while Levi was thrilled with the Japanese culture. You didn’t have many comments. The subject at the forefront of your mind was Mammon. He will be fine by tomorrow, you figured. 

Soon, all of you went to bed. Before you could rest easy, you shot Mammon a goodnight message, your eyes refusing to shut till he texted back a simple ‘night.’ It still seemed off, although maybe it was just your paranoia. So before unease could keep you awake, you shut off your lights and settled under your covers. 

“M...MC...MC…” Someone woke you up as they kept calling your name, your shoulder gently shaken. You turned in bed, blinking as you reached towards your nightstand lamp. It blinded you for a second when it flicked on, your eyes adjusting to the new brightness. Mammon was in your room, wearing a white t-shirt and yellow shorts. 

“Mammon? What time is it?” You rubbed the sleepy layer of sleep off your eyes, your vision a bit clearer. He was crying, shaking, barely keeping himself together. You shot up in bed. “What’s wrong? What happened?!” 

“S-shadow...s-saw a...in my--in my room,” he shuddered, shallow tears drifting down his face as his white hair tried to cover his eyes. Just the sound of his broken tone left you devastated. 

“You got scared?” You didn’t sound condescending or disappointed, you came across as gentle and affirming. Mammon nodded his head, shifting his weight to each of his feet as he couldn’t stand still. “Mammon…” You pulled back some of the blankets, outstretching your arms to him. “Come here.” 

Who knew what it was that drove you to such actions? Your still half-asleep brain? Your hidden feelings for him coming into view? His vulnerable nature unlocking some sort of instinct? You didn’t know, but it didn’t stop you from going forth with these impulses. 

He collapsed into you, arms wrapped tightly against your torso. Whimpering, he nestled his face into the crook of your neck. You let him cry a little bit longer, letting him release pent up emotions as you stroked the back of his head, playing with his smooth strands of hair. “I’m sorry you were scared, but it’s okay. Do you want to stay with me tonight?” His body slowly stabilized as he sniffled, nodding against you. “Then how about you clean up your face and turn off the light?” You prodded at his sides and a short breathy laugh bubbled out of him as you hit his ticklish spots. 

He sat up, grabbing a few tissues from the box by your bed and drying his face, a few comically loud blows of his nose almost made you chuckle. Hesitantly, he reached for the light. As soon as he turned it off, he lunged for you, the weight knocking you back against your pillow. He curled up against you, his legs rapidly entwined with yours as his head rested on your chest. He was uncharacteristically quiet as he listened to your heartbeat, using the pace to match his breaths. Leaning a bit forward, you kissed his head, gently raking your fingers up and down the skin of his back as you lightly scratched him, sending shivers down his spine. 

“Maybe don’t watch horror movies right before bed,” you suggested.

He sounded muffled against your body, the vibrations of his voice sending a pleasing sensation through your body. “I can...do what I want,” he muttered, the tsundere act much weaker than usual. “I’m notta baby or anything…”

“Not a baaaaaby?” You teased, watching him blush and turn his head from you. “Baby, baby boy, baby Mammon,” you continued, feeling him growl. 

“Stop it already...you can’t just go sayin’ that…” 

The heart in your chest pounded rapidly for a minute. Mammon felt it and nestled his face into you again. He soaked in your affection, his shudders resembling purrs in his chest. You’d doubted he had ever had a moment like this. To be completely vulnerable without fear of being mocked. You brushed away some of the strands from his forehead to look at his face. Bewilderment. Embarrassment. Most of all, peace. It was like he’d found some new sort of treasure that rendered him speechless; a treasure so radiant that he could do nothing but observe and take it in with an awed silence. He adjusted his head with a little moan, one of his hands gripping at the fabric of your sides.

And in the swell of it all, you couldn’t help yourself. “I love you.” 

He stiffened, his breath coming to a halt as he moved from your chest to the pillow, his face right next to yours. Even in the dark of night, you could tell he was blushing, you could feel the heat radiating from his cheeks. The sparkle of greed flickered past his eyes. “What did you say?” 

“I...I said I love you,” you answered, brushing your knuckles against the side of his face, one finger twirling around his ivory hair. Then he kissed you, a little peck against your face. 

“Say it again?” 

A little confused, you humored him. “I love you.” 

Another quick kiss against your cheek. “Again.” 

“I love you.” 

A kiss against your forehead. “Again.” 

You giggled this time. “Mammon, I love you.” 

One kiss over each eyelid. “Again!” 

You started stating ‘I love you’ over and over and over again, Mammon giving you a new kiss for each one, littering your shoulders, your face, your neck with all sorts of little pecks. His greed was too much for you, so you gave up quickly, descending into soft laughter as you held the sides of his face in your palms. His watery eyes shimmered a beautiful cerulean in the moonlight. You rubbed your thumb over his cheekbone, pleased to discover that his eyes were dry. He sighed contentedly, or as contentedly as the demon of greed can, a strange expression on his face. 

It was his turn to caress your cheeks, the bottom of his lip quivering once before he gently pressed his lips against yours. “I was scared…” He paused for a second, and you thought he was about to describe whatever thing he had seen in his room, but instead, he surprised you, kissing you once more. “I was scared I’d never hear you say it...I love you too.”